A Warm Welcome Back... for Jalb_k
The Liberty floated calmly and quietly through space. A
single twinkle of light broke the serene calm. An A-wing exited
hyperspace and headed toward the Calamari Cruiser.
"This is Liberty Flight Control Officer to Rogue One.
Please respond," Silk said.
"This is Rogue One. Requesting permission to land in docking
"Permission granted. Follow the landing lights as normal, and Jalb.
Jalb smiled and replied, "Thanks Silk. It's good to be back."
Jalb walked down the corridor to his quarters. He thought, "Boy
it's nice to be back."
He keyed the door and hit the light switch. Nothing. "Sithspawn!"
Jalb groped around until he found his lamp. Again nothing. "Arrggghhh,
I leave for a few months and nothing works when I come back." After
a few minutes, Jalb found his flashlight, and proceeded to get ready
Jalb climbed into bed. "I missed being here," he smiled. Jalb felt
a slight twinge on his back. He rubbed his body on his bed to calm
the itch. That didn't seem to help. So he turned over on his stomach
and reached back to scratch it. He then felt his chest and stomach
starting to itch too. "Oh no!" he moaned. Jalb got out of bed and
reached for his flashlight, itching all the way. He shone the light
on the bed. "Itching powder! I'm going to get someone for this."
His eyes landed on something partially covered by his pillow. It
was a note, and it had two words on it. "Got ya!"
After several hours of itching and scratching, Jalb finally got
to sleep. In the morning he headed for the lounge. Jalb took a look
around. He had made a mental list of the usual culprits. Out of
the corner of his eye he saw Hellcat, Condor, and Syntax at a table
together. They were all talking softly and smirking at him. "I think
I know who did it," he thought.
With that thought, he headed for the bar and sat down. Motioning
to Mixer, he ordered his favorite drink a Sundowner and sat there
thinking about what he was going to do about last night. "If it
is those three, how can I get them? I think I'll keep my options
open and not act until I'm sure who it was."
The next day
Vidster stepped off the shuttle, into the hangar bay of the Liberty.
He was tired, because an annoying person happened to sit next to
him and talked to him the whole flight back. His leave refreshed
him a lot, but he still needed to catch some sleep. He headed straight
for his quarters. Many of the Liberty's personnel greeted
him as he passed, but he said nothing. He got to his door and let
out a sigh of relief. "Boy, I need some sleep, and this is going
to be the place," Vidster thought. He opened his door. To his dismay,
a figure was standing on the other side. It had big ears, and a
"Oh no," Vidster groaned. He recognized the figure immediately.
The Gungan spoke. "Mesa welcomes yousa to desa Gungan Ho' Down.
Pleasa, staysa while and dance."
"God, make it disappear," Vidster groaned. The Gungan started to dance.
"Please God. I won't do anything to harm anybody if you make it
stop." Vidster walked in and closed his door, and the figure disappeared.
"Thank you," he said, relieved. He headed for his dresser to unpack
his luggage. He was horrified when he opened a drawer. It was filled
mini-Jar-Jar dolls. He closed it immediately. He decided to fix
that problem later. He opened his underwear drawer. His regular
Rogue Squadron Underwear was all gone! Instead, there were Jar-Jar
undies! "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Vidster screamed. He slammed that drawer
shut. "I think I will just get some sleep, and deal with the person
who did this later."
Then he saw his bed, Vidster got even angrier. His Rogue Squadron
Pillow, custom made with "Rogue 2" was upside-down. Also, there
was a big lump in his bed. He walked over. There were two pictures
on his pillow. One showed an X-wing, with it's exterior painted
with Gungans. The second picture showed the interior of an X-wing
cockpit, and it too had Gungans inside of it, and to top it all
off a life-size Jar-Jar doll was sitting in the pilot's seat. "Someone
is gonna die if that is my X-wing!" Vidster yelled. He turned over
his pillow to see his familiar Rogue Squadron pillow, except it
had Jar-Jar's ugly face printed on it. "Someone is definitely gonna
die for this," Vidster growled.
He turned his attention to his bed sheets. They were also upside
down as well, and Vidster was curious to see what was making the
bulge under the cover. He tore the cover off the bed, only to see
a big pile of mini-Jar-Jar dolls! And his normal cover had been
transformed to a picture of Jar-Jar! "WHO DID THIS? I'M GONNA KILL
YOU!" He yelled, with the rage swelling inside of him.
After this he finished his cursing and yelling, Vidster heard a
muffled laugh and then some clanking outside his door. He broke
for the door instantly, and skidded to a halt outside his door.
Vidster saw someone in a metal suit clanking down the hall. Vidster,
fueled by anger, headed off in a dead run. When he was about ten
feet away, he jumped and tackled the person. The two ended up in
a pile at the end of the hall.
Vidster turned the mysterious person over. "Whoever you are, you
are so dead," Vidster yelled. After he got them turned over, he
saw whom it was. It was Bulldog, and he was laughing uncontrollably.
Vidster grinned, "Just wait until you see what I have planned for
Bulldog stopped laughing after he saw the extremely evil smile
on Vidster's face. "Oh no," he moaned.
About twenty-four hours later
Darklighter whistled as he walked down a hall of the Liberty
on his way to the Lounge. As he continued, Animal, Buccaneer CO,
joined him. Darklighter saluted him and then the two started conversing.
"Animal have you seen Bulldog around lately? I'm a little concerned
because it's not like him to disappear this long," Darklighter questioned.
"Well, I can't say that I have. Hey, I noticed something on my last
perimeter defense sweep that I'm sure the Liberty hasn't
had before. The Liberty was towing something. It looked to
me like an oversized space suit, but when I asked the comm officer
he said it was the new experimental towed sensor package," Animal
"Really? When was this?" Darklighter asked.
"Oh about an
hour ago, but the comm officer he said it was out being towed yesterday,"
Animal said. The two continued talking and had just about reached
the Lounge. "Hey did you hear what happened to Jalb and Vids?" Animal
Darklighter chuckled, "I did hear about Jalb, but not Vids.
What happened to him?"
Animal told Darklighter all about what happened
to Vidster. Both of them laughed the whole time.
"So, did Vidster
tell who did it during the Command Staff meeting?" Darklighter asked.
"No, but he said he'd taken..." Animal and Darklighter stopped walking.
They looked at each other. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I think so. That is a suit, and Bulldog's in it."
The two pilots turned and started running for the hangar.
Earlier that day
In the past on board the Liberty, Hellcat had had his run-ins
with the Ewok Security Force, and this time he wanted some revenge
for good. On his way to the location that they had hung him upside
down, he happened to pass by Gemini. "Gemini," Hellcat said with
a nod of his head. Although Gemini never passed Hellcat much through
the corridors he knew enough that with the look Hellcat had on his
face he was going to be up to no good, and soon. So giving a slight
nod of his head he turned the corner and waited for Hellcat to go
down a ways before following him.
About 5 minutes later, Hellcat came to a location that he had noted
as being the place he was hung upside down. So opening his case,
he took out various tools and started to assemble something. In
the meantime, Gemini caught up and was hiding himself from Hellcat
while noticing all that was going on.
Finally recognizing the instrument Hellcat was making, Gemini decided
to make his move. "You're not doing something that I wouldn't be
doing are you Hellcat?"
The immediate break in silence startled
Hellcat enough to make him drop his tools as he looked up at the
security officer. "Uhh no, just I'm working on a project."
so? Must be some project considering you're making a pretty high
tech booby trap, huh?"
Knowing he had been caught, Hellcat sighed
heavily; he knew he would get reported, but little did Gemini know
that Hellcat had pre-planned his being caught.
Taking advantage of the distance between Gemini and himself, Hellcat
turned on the ball of his right foot and took off in a mad dash
for the nearest lift. Gemini immediately took off after the Rogue
pilot while signaling for his special unit of Ewok officers.
When Hellcat had almost reached the lift to take him back up to
the hangar level, he saw an Ewok swoop down from above to try and
nail him in the face, but Hellcat quickly ducked to avoid the kick.
When he entered the lift, he punched in the deck that the hangar
was located on, as well as taking some time to catch his breath
again. When the lift came to a stop, the pilot started casually
walking down the corridor so as to not attract too much attention,
but the sight of Gemini and his furball friends caused him to get
back on the move.
Rounding a corner, he saw Stryker and Vidster walking down the
corridor, and took the time to salute while in mid-stride. "Sirs!"
Both the CO and XO looked at each other wondering what had just
happened, until Gemini made his way between them.
his breath, Stryker made another small note on his datapad, "Assign
Hellcat to tug duty, for the fourth time this month. Ahh to be young
and full of all that desire to pilot tugs when you get in trouble."
"You'd think he's starting to enjoy the cramped up space of the
tug, Vince," Vidster smiled as he turned with Stryker to continue
back down the corridor.
"Maybe so, but would he enjoy it so much
if we gave him some company?" At once both the men thought up one
name at the same time, "Condor!"
"Yes, both of them have an ego
about the size of a rancor," Stryker said while making the notice
on the pad.
Meanwhile, Hellcat was still running hotfooted to the hangar and
was now using as much energy as he could to pull away from the pack
behind him. Though it took some time, he was finally able to pull
away some to initiate his plan. Signaling Buzz on his wrist pad
he told the droid to make sure preparations were complete and to
start the plan in 10 seconds. 10 seconds later Hellcat came busting
into the hangar bay and immediately hid behind a stack of crates
next to the wall.
At the same time, Buzz came down the ramp of the
shuttle with his dome head turned up into the shuttle compartment
chirping rather lude comments... almost as if he was talking to Hellcat.
Right at that moment, Gemini and his team came into the hangar
and saw Buzz coming down the ramp, and only figured one thing. The
pilot was hiding inside. Silently walking over to the craft, he
started pointing fingers for the Ewoks to take position, and when
he finally reached the bottom of the shuttle ramp he spoke up into
it. "Hellcat, I thought I made it clear that these pranks were going
to be put to cease and not only did you try to put up a device to
pull a prank. You tried to do it to the Ewok Security Force. Anything
that you'd like to say right now?"
Praying that Buzz installed the
radio device right, Hellcat spoke into his comm pad, "Sure! Would
it be all right if you and your friends down there brought me an
order of beef soup with a glass of water? I'm kinda hungry and thirsty
after all that running. You did pretty good Gem."
Sure enough, Hellcat's
voice seemed to be coming out of the shuttle's bay, even though
he was behind a stack of crates. And just as he thought, Gemini
took what he said bitterly, "I'll give you 5 seconds to come down
that ramp, pilot or else."
"Or else...I can go without being wrote
up on report?"
Annoyed by this time, Gemini used hand gestures to
move his Ewok buddies in, and they did.
Gemini was the last one to run up the ramp and didn't notice the
fact that one of the Ewoks was already on his way back down until
it was too late.
"Now Buzz!" Hellcat shouted, and the droid sent
a signal to the autopilot on board the shuttle to start take off
procedures. During the trip that Hellcat took to get up to the hangar,
Buzz had programmed an irreversible autopilot program that would
take the shuttle to the nearest planet's orbit, where it would then
overload the hyperdrive circuitry causing a malfunction that could
only be repaired on board the Liberty. To add to that program,
the R2 unit also programmed a voice program that would ask for clearance
to take off, and that it did. Hellcat smiled as he saw the shuttle
exit the hangar and off into space.
"Well that takes care of that, Ewoks and all," Hellcat got up brushing
his knees and whistling as the loud speaker came on.
Condor, please report to Colonel Rambo's office at once."
his head down, Hellcat knew what this was going to be about, but
it wasn't the fact that he was going to get tug duty that he dropped
his head; it was the fact that he'll probably get paired up with
Gemini and the Ewok Security Force sat in the shuttle as it took
off through space, at first a little upset. However, they quickly
got over it as they realized that they had not been acting like
themselves, as only amateurs would charge straight into a prepped
shuttle sitting in the middle of a hangar with no proof that anyone
was on it. Although Gemini personally held little value in the Force,
the Ewoks were quick to explain that the only reason they could
have made such a rookie mistake was if the Force had modified their
thinking to get them on the shuttle for some reason. Therefore,
there must be some good to come of the situation.
Thinking for a few seconds, it suddenly hit Gemini. When he had
crossed paths with Hellcat, he had been on his way back to his office
to complete a large mound of paperwork. Now that he had a little
impromptu vacation, no one could possibly expect him to complete
it, now. He let the Ewoks in on this, and a big cheer went through
Examining the craft in a cheery state of mind, Gemini realized
that Hellcat had forgotten to disable the communications array.
Thinking about this, Gemini suddenly realized that Hellcat had forgotten
one very important fact about the Ewoks on the Liberty. They
were rich (NB: In case you do not remember, Paladin made a post
awhile ago about how the Ewok's luck and sound investment strategy
made them incredibly rich). Their money had grown so much that they
had decided on purchasing their own ship, so that they could dispatch
Ewok crews across the galaxy to attack Gungans and any other species
that tried to corner the market on adorable, sci-fi kiddy toys,
and also so they had a place to hang out during their shore leave.
They purchased themselves a top of the line Star Destroyer, redesigned
the interior into a grand pleasure ship, better than anything even
the Mon Calamari had come up with. They christened her the ESD Starcruiser,
and the ship was currently following the Liberty around.
With a few quick taps on the comm equipment, Gemini had the Ewok
captain of the ship on screen, and he was assured that the Starcruiser
would pick them up within a half an hour. Gemini relayed this even
better news to the Ewoks in the shuttle, and the small craft erupted
into a party. The Ewoks all pulled various delicious alcoholic beverages
out of the patches where they kept them hidden just in case of the
spontaneous parties that Ewoks have been known to throw.
As Gemini leaned back and sipped his drink, awaiting the arrival
of the Starcruiser, another idea hit him. Heading back to the communications
console, he interfaced with the Liberty security controls
and got into the communication systems for the maintenance tugs.
Hellcat was likely to get tug duty for his pranks, and Gemini would
make certain that he would remember this time on the tug. He quickly
and adroitly programmed the tug communications equipment to continuously
play Ewok songs at a high volume. Gemini laughed to himself as he
buried the commands deep in the system, so that only his super,
duper top-secret security password could undo it. He then also turned
on the same music for Hellcat's quarters using the ships internal
communications system. When he got back from his nice little vacation
on the Starcruiser, he might think about turning the music off.
"Move over I'm flying," Hellcat pushed Condor away from the stick
as he positioned himself in the seat.
A bit annoyed, Condor fired back, "I don't think so Kitty. Your
flying can nearly get anyone killed!"
"That's because no one can handle the moves I've got!" Hellcat
said as he punched in the launch sequence into the tug's engines.
"Yeah sure HC, not only do you not have moves, but you also don't
have the brains to avoid being caught. Which reminds me, just why
am I doing tug duty with you?!"
"I was wondering that myself, I guess the boss got tired of seeing
you do nothing other than hit on girls in the Lounge. All I know
is that you are NOT taking the controls, I've flown her more times
than you so I get seniority over it," Hellcat said sticking his
nose in the air as if he just beat Condor.
As the tug exited the hangar, Condor punched a few keys on the
console to bring up mission duties the two pilots would be doing
in the tug. "Hey hey hey! First assignment is to dock with the Freighter
Mas, fix their hyperdrive, and move onto our next assignment, but
look what's on board the boat," Condor pointed at the screen while
turning his head with a smile fixed on his face.
Taking one glance at it, Hellcat noticed it was being used as casino
vessel, and where there was a casino there was bound to be, "WOMEN!"
Both pilots shouted out with enthusiasm in their voices. Before
Hellcat could push the throttle full forward, Condor had already
taken the liberty to do so for him, so the tug made its way to repair
However, a message came over the comm from Colonel Rambo, "Guys,
you will refrain from docking with the freighter, we've already
got a ship heading out there to do the duty." The message ended
with a slight chuckle. Hearing Stryker laugh at the end of message
only meant that he had overheard the conversation going on in the
cabin of the tug.
"Great job Condor, you could have made sure the communications
system was not keyed on during our conversation!"
"Hey don't even go there, Kitty, you're the one sitting by the
comm system, duh."
Hellcat frowned knowing that Condor was right. "Well whatever,
what's the next assignment." Just then the onboard speaker system
came to life, blaring out loud music that neither of the pilots
could recognize just yet. Trying to key in numerous commands, Hellcat
tried to shut the speaker system down but to no avail. The music
being played was of Ewok origin and the Rogue pilot could only think
of one person that would do such a devilish act, Gemini.
By now, Hellcat was wondering how much worse his day could get,
first being assigned to tug duty with Condor, now this? What next?
The comm chirped again. This time it was not Stryker.
"Hellcat is that you?" Darklighter called over the comm.
"Yes, it is, and Condor is with me, and to top it all off, we have
Ewok music blaring over the comm system," Hellcat said with chagrin.
"Well I need you to add something to your list of assignments.
You see that thing the Liberty is towing? Animal and I think
that's Bulldog in a suit. Could you drop by and find out and if
it is, bring him in," Darklighter asked.
"You're kidding right?" Hellcat answered back.
"I'm afraid not. You hear what happened to Vidster. Well, I think
Bulldog did it, and you know Vids would be that mean and do that
to him," Darklighter said.
"Darklighter is right. Vids would do that," Condor replied.
Hellcat then called back, "If Vids did it, I'm not sure I want
to go get him. How long has that been out there?"
"A day, Hellcat. I'll take care of Vidster," Animal said.
"Ok," the tug pilot said, "Since it's your head on the line."
An hour passed, the two pilots finally managed to finish their
duties, even with the loud music playing. They also made it back
to the Liberty in one piece. They also brought Bulldog in
from behind the Liberty. Bulldog said that he would make
it up to them later. When they got out of the tug, Condor pushed
Hellcat aside and walked off to his quarters. Hellcat knew why his
friend pushed him aside and could only agree that he would have
done the same thing. However, he was glad to be back on board where
there was, finally, no Ewok music playing. So he decided to take
a break from everything and get some rest before having flight duty
tomorrow at 0600.
On his way to his quarters, Hellcat passed by Vidster, and noticed
the XO trying to withhold the laugh he so much wanted to let out.
Annoyed, Hellcat, continued to look in front of him so as to try
and act like he didn't notice Vids, but the sudden outburst of laughter
as Vids walked by him made him notice all to clearly now. Sighing
heavily he was thankful to have finally made it to his quarters,
but something was different. From the outside he heard more Ewok
music playing and could only pray that it wasn't coming from inside
his very own quarters. Punching in a series of buttons, the door
opened, and HC was nearly thrown to the ground by the sudden loudness
of the music.
Having about enough of it, Hellcat marched down to the quartermaster's
office, told the QM to give him his gun so he could check something
out. Thinking that was what the pilot was really going to do, the
QM handed the Rogue pilot his rifle cautiously. Taking the gun,
Hellcat proceeded to do an inspection of his weapon until he caught
the QM off guard and quickly ran back to his quarters. Raising the
muzzle of the rifle to the position where the loud speaker would
be, he pulled the trigger. Claxons blared throughout the ship, but
he didn't care...he was just happy that the music had stopped. The
only consequence to this action was that he would once again be
out in tug duty.
Bulldog walked into his quarters. He stretched. "Man, I finally
got rescued from being towed by the Liberty. A hot shower
is going to feel so good." Bulldog proceeded to get ready for his
hot shower. He entered the 'fresher, and stepped into the tub. He
reach down and turned on the water. FOOOOSH!!! To Bulldog's utter
amazement not water but shaving cream came out of the shower head
covering him in a layer of white foam. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"
Bulldog yelled, "Someone's going to get it!"
After hearing Bulldog's
scream, a mysterious figure chuckled and stole off to another part
of the ship.
Later that evening
Alli slowly walked down the corridor to her quarters. She had just
finished a supply run and in about ten minutes was going to have
dinner with Krayt. Alli keyed the door. As soon as she walked in
the door, a she got drenched by a bucket of water. Even before she
could get over her surprise, a bag of flour emptied on her head
and made her completing white.
Meanwhile, Pika was just walking out of the kitchen area. When
it saw Alli covered in flour, Pika got scared. "Pika-chuuu!!!" And
with that Pika zapped Alli with a big electrical charge.
Pika, it's me! Why'd you let someone in here and do this?"
Alli then saw her answer. Pika had bits of jelly and Jell-O all
over him. "Sithspit, someone is going to pay dearly for this." Then
there was a knock on the door.
Krayt walked into Alli's quarters. "What happened?" he asked.
"Duh. Someone pulled a prank on me and Pika," Alli remarked. As
if to answer the unasked question, they heard evil laughter coming
from the corridor.
Krayt bolted for the door. He looked down the hall, and saw a figure
slip around the corner. Krayt ran for the corner. He turned and
started down the next corridor. Krayt slipped and slid most of the
way down the hall. "What in the world is the floor covered with?
It seems like some kind of oil." As Krayt tried to get up, an arm
came swinging around the corner holding a bag. Krayt brought his
arms up to deflect the bag but it didn't hit him. It only opened
and flour flew everywhere covering him and the hall.
Laughter came echoing from the next corridor, as Krayt slipped
and fell trying to get up on the oil soaked floor.
Syntax stepped from his quarters, and glanced down the hall, to
see Krayt get doused in flour. Syntax noted the mysterious person
who started running down the hall, and zoomed in his telescopic
photoreceptors, trying to get a better look at the prankster. However,
the prankster rounded a corner, and Syntax was unable to get a positive
ID. Syntax ducked back into his quarters, and popped open his closet.
Syntax reached down into the bottom of the closet, and pulled out
two large cans of Silly String, one red and one blue. He popped
open two hidden panels on the sides of his thighs, and ejected the
4" vibroblades in each (think the gun holsters that Robocop had),
then twirled the two cans of Silly String, and locked them into
the compartments on his legs. The compartments closed, and Syntax
stepped back out into the hall. "Let's get to work," he spoke to
himself, and engaged his thermal imager, which would allow him to
see residual body heat. Therefore he would be able to track this
prankster wherever he ran.
Syntax jogged down the first corridor, giving Krayt a crisp salute,
who managed to return one, despite his predicament, and then jogged
down the next hall. He checked his imager and rounded a corner.
Syntax, then heard a chirp. He spun to his left, just as an automated
paintball turret let loose on his position. Syntax rolled back a
few feet, the rounds tracking where he had just been, before he
heard another chirp. Pulling off a quick 180-degree turn, Syntax
spun around...to find himself staring down the barrel of another
Syntax started walking back to his quarters, a large pink paintball
spot right between his photoreceptors and decided to rethink his
Krayt saluted Syntax as he went by, and then Krayt slipped again.
Finally he was able to get up, and he headed in the direction that
he had see the prankster. He got around the corner, and cleaned
his shoes off. Then, he started running to follow Syntax. Krayt
reached a 'T' intersection, and saw Syntax round one of the corners.
Krayt headed off at top speed to catch up. He wanted to get this
Syntax was slowly backing away from the turrets. Then, all of the
sudden, WHAAAMMM!!!! Krayt came around the corner and ran into Syntax
making both of them sprawl all over the floor. The turrets pelted
them with numerous paintballs. Finally the turrets ran out of ammo,
and Syntax and Krayt dismantled them in a very violent manner.
The next day...
It was about 0800 hours. Hellcat was in a daze as he headed for
the flight deck. He was grumbling to himself about the stupid tug
duty with Condor. "I can't wait until someone finds out who this
prank puller is and when someone does, just wait see what he gets,"
As Hellcat entered the flight deck, he saw Condor over by their
tug. "Hurry up Hellcat, you're going to make us both late. Besides
I didn't do anything. Why am I here?" Condor teased.
"Oh cool it, Condor. Gemini put that crappy Ewok music in my quarters
too. So, I got my rifle and killed the loudspeaker," Hellcat shot
"So, that's what those alarms were," Condor laughed.
They got the hatch for the tug open. "I hope we don't have too
many more of these flights," Condor said.
"I totally agree," Hellcat stated. After he said that, Hellcat
plopped down in his seat. Splat!!! A pie came and smacked him square
in the face. Condor burst out laughing. While he was laughing, he
too sat down, and surprise! He found himself also covered in a pie.
This time it was Hellcat's turn to laugh. After the laughing and
cleaning up was complete, the tug lifted off.
"Since we're out here and have nothing to do. Let's dream up a
good prank for our new prankster," Hellcat suggested. "Sounds like
a plan," Condor remarked.
Rancor walked into the lounge. He looked around for the rest of
Buccaneer Squadron. He spotted them in the corner and headed over
to the table.
"You're late Rancor," Animal said.
"Sorry sir," Rancor
"Now that we are all here let's get down to business.
Just then a young ensign, carrying a pizza size box, walked up
to the group. "Excuse me sirs, I was told to bring this to you,"
"What is it?" Animal asked.
"I don't know sir, but I believe it is a pizza," he replied and
then walked off.
"Well if someone wants to provide us pizza, alright!" Prowler exclaimed.
Guardian opened the box. The box erupted with shaving cream and
confetti. Animal, Paladin, Prowler, Rancor, and Guardian looked
at each other. They were all covered in shaving cream and confetti.
Calmly Animal said, "New order of business, find that ensign and
figure out who this prankster is."
Hellcat and Condor were still hunching over the terminals in the
tug, but not to fly it. "Hurry up already will you, Hellcat," Condor
"Hey this isn't easy trying to see whose id was used to open the
tug's hatch," Hellcat retorted.
"I thought you were a computer whiz," Condor snipped.
"There I got it, and the prankster is....what?!?" Hellcat seemed
"Who is it?" Condor asked.
"It says it's Darklighter. That little sneak... I would have never
thought it was him," Hellcat said.
Prowler finally managed to track down the ensign. "Hey you," Prowler
"Sir?" he replied.
"Who told you to give that to us?" Prowler questioned.
"I don't know his name, but he had blond hair, blue eyes, and was
wearing a Rogue Squadron patch," he said.
"Thanks ensign. Animal," Prowler called into his comlink, "It's
a blond haired, blue eyed pilot in Rogue."
"Hmmm, if you rule out Vids that leaves Mighty and Darklighter,"
Animal replied. Then both Animal and Prowler heard a chirp signaling
a third person had joined them on the line.
"You guys want some interesting info?" Hellcat said.
"Like what?" the two Buccaneer pilots asked.
"Like who the prankster is." Hellcat answered. Both Buccs answered
to the affirmative. "It's Darklighter. Condor and I are working
now something. Interested?" Hellcat grinned....
Mighty was walking through the halls. He was whistling, happy as
usual. He rounded a corner, and he almost ran into the most beautiful
nurse he had ever seen. She was a human, 5' 8'', blond hair and
blue eyes. Mighty found himself staring. She spoke. "Ooohhh, easy
big boy. What is your name? Mine is Katherine."
Mighty replied, "M-M-my n-name is M-mighty. I am a R-r-r-rogue."
He managed to pull that much off, before he completely froze.
"Well, we might have to check out your speech problem, won't we,
Mighty? Why don't you take me to your quarters?" Kat said.
"S-s-s-s-sure, this way." Mighty started to lead the way. He looked
back, and the nurse was following him. He was so distracted by the
fact that he was going to score, that he didn't notice the astromech
that followed him into his room.
The nurse looked around a bit, and then spoke. "Ok. Let me see
Mighty opened his mouth, and thought she was trying
to hug him. He tried to hug back, closing his eyes to meet her lips.
He felt nothing. He saw the nurse, and her arms were around him,
yet he felt nothing. He was too busy trying to figure out what happened
when the astromech bolted out of his room, and the nurse disappeared.
"Sithspawn! Someone set me up!" he shouted.
Around the corner, Bulldog
chuckled to himself. "One suspect down," he said, "Now for the other
suspect to pay for that shower prank."
Hellcat had just gotten back from his tug duty. It was long, especially
long because he was stuck with Condor, again, and they had stay
to figure out who the prankster was. All he needed was a hot shower
and a hot meal. He reached his quarters, opened the door, and found
a nice, hot meal sitting on his bunk. There was a note next to it.
It read: "Hey buddy. I made this for you because I know how annoying
that Ewok music was and being stuck with Condor two times during
tug duty can be [:)], so I cooked you this nice and hot meal. First
off, I got the meat from a contact I had on Calamari. It is some
kind of fish or something. Anyway, I prepared it with everything
in the recipe, so I hope you enjoy. Your Bud, Bulldog."
"Alright! A free, hot meal! Thanks buddy." He took one bite, started
chewing, and started hating Bulldog instantly. The first sensation
was heat. The second however was sour and spicy put together. He
ran to the 'fresher, and saw a cup that was placed there. There
was another note by it. It read: "Hey buddy, if you find this, then
you know I feel bad about the fish that I stuffed with Haban'ero
peppers. I made a mixture of milks and stomach medicines that should
help you out. Sorry, Bulldog." Hellcat immediately looked at the
mixture. It wasn't much to look at, and he didn't trust Bulldog
at the moment. Hellcat decided to start gulping down water, instead.
It wasn't helping, and the heat was getting worse. He was desperate.
So, Hellcat tried the drink. It actually worked. The pain and taste
Hellcat started to walk out of the 'fresher, then his stomach started
to growl, and he had the sudden urge to go back into the 'fresher.
His insides turned again, and he knew that he had to go. He dropped
his pants in an instant, and ran into the stall. He sat down...
Another note, sitting in plain sight on the stall door read: "Well,
I told you it was a mixture of milks and medicines. In this case,
I used Milk of Magnesia, which is both a milk and a medicine. Bulldog,
"YOU are so dead Bulldog!" HC yelled, and then felt another wave
coming on. Bulldog walked into the bathroom. He filled a cup with
water, and held it over the stall door. "Well, you have to catch
me first, bud" Bulldog said, as he dumped the water and ran. The
water missed Hellcat, and he had finished his business. He laughed
at the ineffectiveness of Bulldog's delaying action. Then he saw
the soaked hunk of toilet paper sitting in the only stall of this
Mighty left his quarters for he was scheduled on maintenance duty.
Mighty wondered who had a sick enough sense of humor to pull something
like that. Mighty thought, "Who would be demented enough to have
a droid break into my quarters and project a hologram out into the
hall and lead it to here?" Mighty arrived in maintenance. He looked
over the droid checkout list, and only one astromech had been checked
out within the last hour. It was to Bulldog. Mighty hit the recall
button on his remote, and a few minutes later, the little astromech
droid rolled up. Mighty then did a diagnostic of the droid's most
recent run programs and sure enough, Bulldog had reprogrammed its
hologram emitter. That was all the evidence Mighty needed, he promptly
called the acting security officer.
An hour later Bulldog was arrested on charges of misappropriation
of Alliance resources and breaking and entering. Bulldog was confined
to the brig for 3 weeks. The only way that Bulldog will be set free
is for Mighty to drop the charges or for Bulldog's CO to bail him
After his ordeal in the refresher, Hellcat only wanted one thing...revenge.
When he exited his quarters, Hellcat bumped into Mighty who had
just finished his maintenance duty and returned a rather mean look,
"Whoa dude calm down. Not like I knew you were going to be there
when I came out of my quarters." It was flight duty time for both
him and Mighty, and both of them knew it wasn't going to be an interesting
flight due to what had been pulled on the two of them by Bulldog.
When the two Rogue X-wings entered the blackness of space, Hellcat
keyed in a private channel to Rogue Ten. "Mighty, Bulldog get you
too?" asking out of curiosity.
"Nothing I wish to talk about, but yes," Mighty stated in a stern
"Yeah he got me as well. Been brewing an idea in my head as to
get him back. You do know that he and Locker have patrol duty after
Krayt and Kid finish after us right?"
"Yes, Jalb bailed him out of the brig. What's on your mind evil
"Well, here's what I was figuring..."
A few hours later the X-wings touched down on the hangar deck,
and both Rogues climbed out of their craft. "Mighty, get in position
while I grab my gear," Hellcat said as he opened the storage compartment
of his X-wing. After getting his slicing gear out, he joined Mighty
at Bulldog's A-wing, who had already opened up the propulsion system
and nav computer terminals. Plugging in his terminal, Hellcat went
to work to "reconfigure" the engine and navigational computers inside
With time cutting short, the two Rogues finished the job they
had intended to do with only seconds to spare as Bulldog and Locker
came strolling into the hangar bay ready for their flight duty.
"We're all set here HC, lets get to the ready room before Bulldog
sees us," Mighty whispered as he snuck his way out of the hangar
with Hellcat following closely behind. When the two finally arrived
at the ready room, they saw at least six other pilots waiting for
their patrol duties to start, but none with a high rank to punish
both the Rogue's.
Sitting down at a table the two pilots stared intently at Hellcat's
computer terminal when Alli approached them. "What are you two doing
here? I thought ya'lls patrol was finished?"
"Well... umm... Hellcat was just showing me how to do a few minor slicing
codes to access Imperial databanks next time we're on ground ops,"
"Yeah, ya can never guarantee one of the slicing experts is going
to be at your side at all times ya know?" E
xamining the looks on
their faces gave it away perfectly. They're lying, Alli thought
to herself, but decided to leave it at that and go about her business.
When the two Rogues saw Alli walk away, they both shared a sigh
of relief and then turned back to the computer terminal. "What's
their status HC?"
"Bulldog's lead craft, and they're both out about 4 klicks. Shall
we?" Hellcat said as he positioned his finger over a button with
an evil grin on his face.
"Need you ask that Hellcat? I'm always ready, Furball!" Rogue Ten
slapped his buddy on the back of the head.
"Corsair 6 to Corsair 12, how's everything going over there?" Bulldog
asked as he brought the nose of his fighter 45 degrees to the left.
"Can't complain here Bulldog." As the two A-wings moved towards
their next position, Bulldog recalled the pranks he has pulled on
Hellcat and Bulldog just hours ago. The moment was to be short lived,
however, as his craft came to an immediate stop. "Hey what gives?!"
Bulldog exclaimed to no one in particular.
"Six, is everything alright over there? Why did you stop?" Locker
asked as he brought his fighter around to investigate.
irritated, Bulldog started running diagnostics on his flight system
when all of the sudden the computer informed the Corsair that hyperspace
jump would commence in "5..4..3..2..1," "What the hellllll!" Bulldog
shouted as the craft lunged into hyperspace, only to come back out
a few seconds later.
Checking his coordinates, he realized that he had jumped 30 klicks
out from the Liberty. Again the A-wing started acting up
as it turned and stopped. "Now what?" the young pilot asked to himself.
And once again the A-wing did an in-system jump to the other side
of the Liberty.
When it exited hyperspace, Bulldog tried to collect his thoughts
as to what is going on with his A-wing, but didn't get a chance
to relax when the nimble fighter slammed him back into the seat,
doing yet another in-system jump. Five minutes went by, and by now
the A-wing had done a total of 5 in-system jumps, dropping its fuel
capacity enough that he wouldn't be able to do another in-system
jump. Relieved, he checked his coordinates from the Liberty
and saw he was a mere 50 klicks out. "This is going to be a long
ride back home," thought Bulldog. Punching his throttle to full,
he sat back in his seat to wait for the fighter to arrive at the
Mon Cal cruiser, but something else happened. All of the sudden,
a buzzer in his fighter's cockpit started going off signaling his
number two engine was out. The A-wing started into a flat spin in
the direction for the Liberty as a result.
"Well that takes care of the pest problem," Hellcat said sitting
back in his chair and putting his hands behind his back while shutting
off his terminal. "Whoa, hey Kitty, won't he be able to shut down
and restart his engines if you turn your equipment off?" "Nah Mighty,
I sent one last string of codes to not only block manual override
of the propulsion system, but to also re-initialize the number 2
engine when he gets within 1.3 klicks of the Liberty. Don't
worry he'll be fine...well almost fine. I'll feel sorry for the
tech crews that have to clean out the cockpit of his fighter. I
hope he didn't eat anything "chunky" this afternoon!" Getting up,
Hellcat grabbed his gear and said a good evening to his pal as he
walked back to his quarters while whistling the tune of "Whistle
While We Work."
"Ahh, Sir?" Darklighter, Rogue Twelve said as he turned to face
the person who had just called him.
"How are you Joel?" the Corsair CO said as he caught up to the
young Rogue. "Long time no see, what have you been up to?" Jalb_k
asked, the picture of innocence.
Darklighter took a double take at the senior officer, not quite
sure he had seen the malicious little twinkle in his eyes or not.
"Uh, not a great deal Sir. Just routine mainly, you know how it
is. Been hoping to avoid getting pranked, and I help saved Bulldog."
"Yes, as a matter of fact I do, I know exactly how it is Joel."
There was no mistaking the glint in the eyes now, the glint of a
predator prepared to strike. He pulled a pad out of his thigh pocket
and showed it to Joel. "This mean anything to ya mate?"
Joel looked down and saw a few brief lines on the pad and below
them, a still image. It was the image that caught his attention.
He looked back up and straight into Jalb's eyes, the first twinges
of uncertainty giving way to great waves of panic.
Jalb smiled as
he noticed a bead of sweat form on the Rogue's forehead. "Mmmm,
takes one to catch one, eh. No problemo, just letting you know that
I know." Jalb smiled again and pocketed the pad. "See you around
Joel" he said and patted the young pilot on the shoulder. "Oh, and
by the way... Watch your back mate." With that Chris turned on his
heel and strolled away, whistling softly to himself.
stood rooted to the spot watching as Corsair Leader sauntered off
and as Jalb turned the corner Joel was sure he heard a faint "Yes,
Hellcat got the attention of the pilots in his quarters. "Ok, now
we know who it is. Condor and I have a great idea to get him. So,
let's get started shall we."
To be Continued...